Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in skav00vie's LiveJournal:

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Friday, December 7th, 2007
11:39 am	blargh dear journal, i have been neglecting you for some time. my cat is mysteriously extra lovey to me lately... he knows something... it's nice to have the rain again but i'm especially menstrual these past few days yeah i said it... everything is annoying the hell out of me. and it doesn't help when i'm supposed to go to work in two hours to try to obtain somekind of order with thirty or so elementary kids who have no respect for adults and no sense of discipline and i have to get them snack, do homework with them, do holiday projects, and attempt at getting them to clean the room. i know it sounds like hell on earth but i usually don't mind it it's just exhausting and i have no patience right now. what's even more fun is that my co-worker is also on her lady time... well enough about bleeding from the vagina scott, what the hell? how boys really pee? need i say more... and sara, are you still serious about new york? my finances are currently unstable but it is still quite a ways away unless we do a smaller trip which i don't mind we should try to collaborate with Danni (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 1st, 2007
11:35 pm	my great disgust for the human race. dear journal, the thought process is lacking... that is all (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 26th, 2007
10:58 pm	more and more school. dear journal, I've realized that i must enter a med school after my BA in order to become a forensic pathologist. also it is required to have 4-5 years of residency... exciting... well i have a few years to think about it... mean while i think i'm gonna go ahead and major in biology... is that a wrong choice? i dunno... but i guess from there i can do anything... if i do change my mind at least i have a BA in a very broad field... but something in the back of my mind tells me in over my head... it's definitely going to be hard work... and it's stupid but the thing i'm most worried about is 1. failure of course 2. still being with Mike when the time comes for my to devote all of my time to education... perhaps this is a subject for another day and i'll try to enjoy what we have right now... right now it's good... it's better than good... hopefully that's enough for when i need it most... (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 22nd, 2007
1:53 pm	skydiving Dear Journal, I have succumbed to the daily droll that is the education system. swamped with relentless reading, i think this is the most effort i've ever put into school and it's exhausting me. don't forget those important three R's of learning: repetition, redundancy, repetition. trying to find a better job, which is the same old story. i have a headache, and i need a drink. i haven't smoked in a month which has no physical effect on me just my mental being. sara, start saving up for new york! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 26th, 2007
8:54 pm	Ginger Ale Dear Journal, today many issue's became ressolved.... i haven't written in this thing in forever... i feel all of my thoughts and ideas have already been expressed in my daily life through my friends and new people i meet... i found that telling a complete stranger my whole life story make's me feel more content with existance... i also found maybe i blow things out of proportion and i aplogize to anyone who feels i've been acting dramatic... that's how i am and how i've always been but i'm working on change... i wish to center myself and find some peace but i can never help that people are complete dumbasses (Comment on this)
Friday, June 29th, 2007
7:01 pm	my alter ego... Dear Journal, today my name is Liz. i'm anorexic and dress like a ho because negative attention is the only kind of attention that i would ever want from anybody. i have no self respect and i thrive on drama. because i am such a drull person i have to steal other peoples personality. preferably Camarie because i have a super hard on for her. sometimes i wish i can wear her skin around i would have such an explosive orgasm... i'd probably die right afterwards. but that's ok, it'll be worth it. fuck you liz get a life get a boob job and stop stalking me (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 28th, 2007
10:07 pm	Dear Journal, i'm sorry to say that i have to get rid of my ferret anybody in need of a saucy companion? not me... spudnick needs a home... any takers? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 13th, 2007
9:07 pm	Second chances "we spin like lovers circling circus holding at hand and hand i express my feelings cuz i'm dying to get out we spin like desert flowers in the slow sand can i please give happiness so why don't you understand i only live twice" (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007
12:53 pm	BRAINS!!!! Dear Journal, please destroy my Limbic system... thank you, cam (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 11th, 2007
2:03 am	oh, honey I know it hurts.... Dear Journal, i'm crying again cuz i don't know what else to do. i didn't think i had anything left, but apparently my eyes have not yet finished expelling themsleves of him i'm trapped... there's nothing i can do and what i know i should do, i can't. believe me when i say i'm completely incapable. i never felt a pain such as this, and i've been through my share of experiences. you know this. i can't tell anyone though i don't want to get my hopes up, but i don't hear "move on" ignorance is bliss... i just don't want to hear it... i'd rather die than know i can never be happy with you again... i hate myself for loving you.... (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007
12:10 pm	Lack of Interest... Dear journal, armand called me monday and has yet to cease... we talked for a while, but i figured that his sudden interest with me again is probably due to the fact that he is once again, alone. i haven't spoken to him since but believe me, he's trying. just to talk, not really perceiving anything else. cuz there will never be anything else. i'm not that devastated to the point where i would go back to Armand. i still believe he was my first love, but a love that has come and gone. maybe i can say the same for mike.... but i'm not sure if i want to. you start to forget what it feels like to have them hold you, to have them kiss you, and among some other things, you start to lose the sensation of them. and in a moment of thinking i'm getting better, i realize it's only worse when i start to cry at that fact that i'm loosing him i haven't really come to terms that he's already gone. a part of me feels that if i just hold on to what little i have left of him maybe that will be enough to bring him back. but i know that's crazy, i know it's irrational. i know. but logic and emotion have never cease fire on each other (Comment on this)
Friday, April 20th, 2007
12:09 pm	LAME!!!!! dear journal, i've lost any attraction to anything... i'm going out with a guy today, not a date, at least not to me... i'm not attracted to any of these guys hitting on me or asking me out. good... i finally have some form of control over myself. i'm just numb to it all... all except one... still... maybe i'm a fool but i don't care anymore. only time will tell, and it ain't talkin (Comment on this)
Monday, April 16th, 2007
10:38 pm	in a blink of an eye it'll all be gone... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, April 13th, 2007
6:36 pm	Shit adds up at the Bottom... Dear journal, I am truly thankful for my friends... gay corny whatever i'm thankful. i mean my real friends.... their timing is so appropriate and though we may think we are alone and abandoned, that's when we find the strength to be on our own maybe things do happen for a reason and though we will never know reason until later in life or maybe tomorrow... it's still the hardest thing to crawl into an empty bed at night but at least now i have a reason to get up the next morning: coachella sara, you're not an asshole i can't be strong all the time, and i'm sorry if i've failed you by becoming so weak but i'm glad you're there to slap me in the face when you know i need it... i'll never understand life until i'm dead but i want the answers so bad i'm willing to die for them. but i guess i'm giving life a chance for now don't be confused, i'm not suicidal though i'm severely depressed. and not that i know everything, i just think i've reached my most evolved state of mind i should be thinking these things when i'm eighty, not eighteen. i'm ready. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 11th, 2007
8:07 am	Undertow dear journal, i love tool... gone under two times. I've been struck dumb by a voice that speaks from deep beneath the endless water. It's twice as clear as heaven, and twice as loud as reason. It's deep and rich like silt on a riverbed and just as neverending. the currents mouth below me opens up around me. suggests and beckons all while swallowing. It surrounds and drowns and swipes me away. But I'm so comfortable...Too comfortable. shut up shut up shut up shut up you're saturating me how could I let this bring me back to my knees third time and I've been baptized by your voice. it screams from deep beneath the cold black water. it's half as high as heaven half as clear as reason. cold and black like silt on a riverbed just as neverending Currents mouth below me, opens up around me suggests and beckons all while swallowing. It surrounds and drowns and swipes me away. But I'm so comfortable...Too comfortable. shut up shut up shut up shut up you're saturating me how could I let this happen Why don't you kill me, I am weak and numb and insignificant, How could i let this bring me back to my knees we fall in a euphoria. we fall in a euphoria. I'm back down. I'm in the undertow. I'm helpless and I'm awake. I'm in the undertow. I'll die beneath undertow. There doesn't seem no other way out of the undertow. euphoria. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 10th, 2007
7:35 pm	Dating sucks... Dear Journal, i'm on the dating scene again... not by choice.. but i suppose i can always refuse but then comes the akwardness of having to think of an excuse not to go out with someone and then having the akwardness of how to reject the guy when he tries something... bleh... guys are stupid... i guess dating ain't so bad... it's good to go out sometimes... but i'm not looking for my soul mate or for a fling i just want to have a good time without some guy groping on me..... is that too much to ask for? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 3rd, 2007
8:33 pm	Frisco Dear Journal, take me away from here..... (Comment on this)
Monday, April 2nd, 2007
9:38 am	Confusion is Run Dear Journal, People are so fickle..... you think someone is your friend yet you never get a phone call or an answer when you call you think someone doesn't like you and you find that they do, or at least you think they do, of maybe they don't... but sometimes i think they do... you think you can trust the one person you look to for strength and find that they are the most fickle of everyone what happened to me? why have i let my guard down? maybe i still feel vulnerable but when will i get over it... when will i be back to normal.... (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 27th, 2007
9:42 pm	In holy matrimony dear journal, yesterday was my best friend's wedding and it was almost like a dream... maybe it was because i was heavily liquored up but still... i had fun, danced the dance and then had one too many drinks.... but it's not my fault so many guys wanted to get me drinks... so i drank.. i ruined a would be relationship by kissing a different guy and wearing his jacket as the other guy who i thought was just a fling got all upset with me. and so because i was drunk i got emotional and called him and argued for a good two hours convincing him to let me come over. then i woke up today realizing that i just met this guy and i have no idea i'm getting this way. my friend Zach says after telling him this story "just call it your rebound experience, and move on" so i am... and i'm not feeling shitty about mike anymore cuz i realized i can get other guys... and now i have a almost craush on this other guy... i know, you can't keep up... it's fine, niether can i but this is single life, no? his name is Joe Bosco... and hopefully we can develop something. maybe maybe not.. if anything happens it won't be for a while... i'm not ready to jump into another relationship... i'm realizing that i'm going to enjoy the single life for once and be a slut... and why not? i'm always in a serious relationship getting overly emotional about some guy... its time to enjoy myself... and my vagina... (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 22nd, 2007
11:34 am	deciever of dreams dear journal, my best friend is getting married and i have to write a speech... and in all of her moments of happiness, all i can think of is all my moments of unhappiness... but last night it was to tough to put myself to sleep and in all of my distress and outcry when i finally did fall asleep, it wasn't him i dreamt about.... which is odd... or maybe not... maybe i tried to distract myself so hard that it actually worked.. but it was nice to dream about someone else for a change and after seventeen months i'm finally seeing someone else in my subconscious but it could mean everything, or mean absolutely nothing...... (Comment on this)